I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
