Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
