actually, I'm a sock model
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My life is pants optional.
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