I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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