THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're a waste of cheezeits
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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