How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
