Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
