i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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