I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
