if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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