You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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