I haven't been this sober since birth.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
