Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
