Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
