Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
