You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
