tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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