Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the condom got lost in my hair
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
