sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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