Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
