Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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