Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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