So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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