What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
