Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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