His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
