that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
