he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
