I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
