nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
