Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize