Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
