Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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