There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
