Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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