dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
