i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
