I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
