If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
