just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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