we have officially lost it.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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