woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
as a side note pls kill me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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