Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
