I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
