The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
