Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
