I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
