Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
