we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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