No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize