So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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