she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
