She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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