pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
