according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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