Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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