I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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