Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
