we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
