Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
