It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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